This “whole blog thing” started with letters to my girls.
It began as simple notes to them when they were babies. I wrote about their milestones and how much I loved being their Mom! As they grew, my writing grew. The simple notes turned into letters for their big birthdays and things I wanted them to remember. I wanted a place for the girls to go to when they needed some “Momma Wisdom”. At the time, I thought, they will not care what I have to say and they will probably never remember it, but I kept writing.
My daughters are adults now. (Wow! That’s making me tear up as I write that!) We are about to have another round of birthdays, and 2 college graduations this year, and I decided that it’s time for another letter to my ADULT daughters.
They are living their lives, enjoying their independence, talking about moving into a place of their own (heavy sad sigh), and making decisions about their futures and it’s hard for this Momma to not insert herself into their plans and add her “Momma Wisdom”.
I decided to take a look at some of my past “letters to my girls” and put some of the advice I’ve have written over these last 20/21 years of their lives into one post…
…Whether it’s wanted, needed, or retained…here goes nothing.
My babies,
I believe you can do ANYTHING and you will be the very best at it! Your life is intended to be so much more than you could ever think or imagine! God is not limited by our personalities or our character. He can take our simple ideas and our limited human lives and turn them into something bigger than we could have imagined. We just have to be open to it and obey Him in every step.
You are at a time in your life where you may not know what path you are going to take, but the place you are in right now is not an accident. You were called to this very task and very location for a purpose! You have a direction, but let Him show you the actual path. He is the only One who can get you there…I can’t wait to see it all happen!
Attach your life to God’s. Do what He says. Go where He sends you. Say what He wants you to say, and let Him do bigger and better things than you could ever imagine! Don’t limit yourself to your own dreams!
Don’t get so focused on where you are going that you forget about where you came from. Big dreams are good, but don’t miss the little things. You are never too old to do goofy stuff. Be silly. Turn the radio up and sing at the top of your lungs! Dance in the rain and splash in the puddles!
It doesn’t even matter what you are doing! It doesn’t matter if you are in “this job” or “this ministry”. It’s not about the task, the job, the ministry, or season of life you are in. If you stop looking at “the task at hand” and trust God to handle the details, then it really doesn’t matter what you do! Refocus. Get in line with God’s direction and let him clear the road!
Does this mean that life is going be easy? Oh my word, No! BUT, even when things seem so hopeless, and you feel like you are in the middle of a mess, God is not done with you! Even when it is so dark, you just don’t know what God can do! Let Him to do the work. Let Him fight your battles. Say it out loud to Him if it helps! “Lord, I can’t see your plan, but I know your working. Please fight this battle for me and help me to trust Your direction.”
We all have influence, no matter our age. You may think you have no influence, or you don’t matter, but you do! You changed the world by just being born, and every day of your life, you matter! You bring a light to this world that was not present on this earth until you were born. That presence matters to the people around you!
Be authentic. Drop the wall. When you are transparent, you show that you are brave and confident.
Boast in your weakness! Learn to laugh at yourself. “Own it” when you mess up! When you admit failure, you make yourself vulnerable, and when you make yourself vulnerable, you are actually drawing people to you. Those people just discovered that they can be vulnerable around you, and you won’t make fun of them when they fail.
You will only learn if you have a teachable spirit. If you walk into church, or the classroom, or your job, with an attitude of not wanting to be there, then you will never learn. If you walk in with an attitude of wanting to learn and succeed, you will absorb so much! Watch your attitude!
Learn to sit in the quiet. Sit still. For just a few moments. You can only be in one place at a time. Be here. Be present. Let the thoughts come. Let the emotion come. Then lay it all in His hands.
Get to know yourself. Figure out how you view the world. You may think you know yourself but when you are stressed you may react differently. Others may not see the world like you do, and that can be a prickly situation! Choose to see the other person for who they are. They love you. You love them. See the person, not the problem! Is the problem worth the conflict? CHOOSE to be on the same team rather than two opposing sides.
YOU ARE A WOMAN! LET THEM HEAR YOU ROAR! You are women who are smart, talented, brave, courageous, and grace-filled! Women who will know that they can be proud to be a woman! Women who deserve to be cherished and loved, and God willing, loved by their future husband’s who will honor them and be proud of their strength and wisdom, BUT…YES THERE IS A BUT…You are Women! You are not a man. We were all created differently. Women have different roles in the family. There is pride in that! Men can not do what we can. They were not created to do what we can. OWN IT!
There are people in this world, who still struggle seeing that you are a woman and you have value in the workplace! There is a discrimination that women can’t possibly have the knowledge or be the “one in charge” to help solve their problem. TEACH THEM! Humbly, and yet confidently, let them know that you can help them…and then FORGIVE THEM. (That’s the hardest part!) It’s so hard in the business world to get a phone call and the customer wants to speak to the “man in charge”. You are entering a world with people who don’t know that RESPECT SHOULD BE GIVEN TO EVERYONE! IT IS NOT EARNED! It is TRUST that needs to be earned! Everyone deserves respect! Even the ones who don’t know how to give it you!
Recognize the people who are happy when you are happy, and sad when you are sad. Recognize the difference between people who “find time” and those who “make time” for you. Take note of the ones who show up when you need them! They are true friends. Be with those who bring out the best in you, the real you.
Don’t focus on having a problem, focus on the problem. Deal with one problem at a time. Watch your attitude towards others. You can still be kind during tough times. Choosing to see the positive things going on in your life will help too. Something to think about, If everyone has problems, then someone you cross paths with today is probably going through a tough time. Kindness and understanding goes a long way. Show it to everyone, even if they don’t show it to you. You don’t know what they might be going through today.
What a life of peace we could have if we looked at every trial, every problem, every purchase, every road we travel, every day at work, and every minute of every day in His control. He holds it all in His hands. It’s time to lean on Him and let Him do what He’s going to do. “Let’s let God be God.”
If I could give you anything in this world, it would be eyes to see yourself as I see you, better yet, how the Lord sees you.
My sweet girlies, your value and your worth is not in what you see reflected back to you. Your value and your worth comes from the One who created you. He sees you as a perfect creation, beautiful in every way. Choose to see how He sees you! Choose to see yourself through His eyes. (I’m still learning this lesson myself.)
Be grateful for who you are. Be you. Unapologetically you! Keep learning as much from others as you can. Keep being the light that helps others see!
Don’t take time for granted. I’ve lost so many people in my life, young and old. No matter your age, life is short. You never have enough time.
Every morning that you wake up and have air in your lungs, stand up and move is a good day. If you aren’t enjoying those simple gifts then you are missing out on simple joy. There are people out there who would love to stand up and move who can’t get up. Don’t take these things for granted.
People will come and go in your life. Either by death or by distance, AND distance isn’t always in miles. Life can pull people away from us, but the Lord always helps us find others to fill the void.
Say “I love you” more! The first “non family” person I ever said those “three little words” to was a friend in 3rd grade. I was nervous as all get-out, but I still said it. She was my best friend. I’ve learned that it got easier to say and it actually built friendships into “adopted family”.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect. Don’t wait to get the fancy dishes out for company. Get them out and use them. Don’t wait for a fancy evening for special jewelry. Wear it now. I have a glass Christmas ornament that a dear friend made me before she died. I didn’t want to unpack it because I feared it would get broken. One Christmas you girls unpacked it, not knowing my fear, and put it on the tree. One of you said said, “Aunt Terry would love to see us putting her ornament on the tree.” (It goes on the tree every year now!)
Leave a mark on this world. If you can help one person, you’ve left your mark. There is no way to know what will leave a lasting impression in someone’s life, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Be involved. Be encouraging. Make an effort.
There is no one too busy. It’s about priorities. You will make time for what you care about most. Choose the relationships over the junk of this world. It’s not about having time, it’s about making time.
Live my daily motto… “Smile from the Heart”. Smile so BIG your eyes squint! You show your teeth, and you don’t care how silly you look because you are sharing your smile with the world in hopes of making someone else smile. The “pure joy” smile. There is a difference ON THE FACE when their is a difference IN THE HEART.
Imperfection is OK. I used to be the kind of mom/wife who had to have the house in perfect order before anyone came over. I’ve learned over the years that people don’t come over to see the house, they came to see us. Your Great Nana used to said, “If they are coming to your house to see the house, then they can help you clean it!” I don’t have to have a 4 course meal planned. I am a wife and mom and full time at our family business. I’m a busy lady. I don’t have time for perfection, and that’s OK!
Life doesn’t always go like you plan. “Roll with it.” We like to have a plan and we like to stick to our plans, but plans change. Life can get messy. You can “be prepared” for messy situations, but also be ready to have your world flipped upside down. What’s another one of my famous phrases? “Hope for the best. PLAN for the worst. Snack in between.“ What does that mean? It means be ready, be hopeful, and ENJOY ALL OF IT!
I am so proud of you!
I Love you.
Momma
Cowles Farm 