At age 22, I walked down the aisle to a man who made me feel good about myself, made me think life could be fun, and he was really cute to look at! I was full of young love, romance, and dreams.
When we first got married, all we wanted was to be together. We wanted to go on trips, own a home, and start a family. We imagined that our lives would be perfect and no one would get sick and we would grow old together. We envisioned that our kids would have kids, and they would visit all the time, and I would get to bake cookies with them every visit. (Still hoping and praying that last dream comes true.)
A few years in, my love for him grew and changed when I saw him hold our babies. That inexplicable look of love, where he knew his whole world just changed. I will never forget that protective “dad face” when he held each of them for the first time, and then years later, the FEAR on his face when we got “the call” that youngest was in a car accident…
…Marriage is getting through the most terrifying news together.
At age 47, now 25 years of marriage with this handsome man, I’ve realized that marriage isn’t what I thought it was going to be.
Back then, I wasn’t looking for a leader and a man of God to lead this family. Thank the Lord, He gave me a husband who is full of grace and forgiveness, has the patience of a Saint, and a love for the Lord that is greater than his love for me.
Good things can go bad fast. We are not immune to sin and selfishness. No marriage is. Marriage has to be about choosing the other’s needs and desires over our own. We walk that aisle and stand before God, our friends, and family and vow to love, honor, and choose each other every day, “in sickness and health, until death do us part.” Those vows are not just pretty words. Those vows are a commitment to each other when things get hard and ugly.
We’ve seen hard, and we’ve been ugly to each other, and we didn’t FEEL the love, but we chose it! We chose to remember those vows during the selfish times.
25 years together, we get to come home to each other every night, we own our home, and we have two beautiful adult daughters who have dreams of their own, but our love is different and so much more than we imagined.
Marriage is filing out medical forms in yet another doctor’s office and looking up from those forms to see him walk into the waiting room, just to sit and wait. His calm, reassuring smile melts the fear away, and you are reminded you aren’t doing this alone.
Marriage is cleaning up the puke of the other person.
Marriage is that first phone call. Good or bad news, they are the one you call first.
Marriage is yearly photos of our “Cowles Herd” under the cherry blossom tree.
Marriage is being able to have fun even in the grocery store and never questioning why there is another Amazon box on the porch.
Marriage is bug killing, endless laundry, piles of dishes, watching THEIR show, and listening to the stuff in their head.
Marriage is showing strength and being the steady in a spinning world.
Marriage is being a teammate for the other person, even when they are wrong.
Marriage is saying, “Let’s just pick up dinner.”
Marriage is forehead kisses of protection and hugs that say I’ll never let go.
Marriage is someone who thanks God for you and encourages your walk with the Lord.
Marriage is giving up your jacket, even after you suggested that I bring one and I don’t.
Marriage is being the person you can “dump it all on” and they remind you that the Lord is still in control.
Marriage is knowing you are better together and you are a better person because of them.
Marriage is missing them when you are apart and yet needing alone time when you are together.
Marriage is dancing in the kitchen while the spaghetti boils over on the stove.
Marriage is the quiet, calm voice that covers over my loud chaos! For telling me that my feelings are normal and not wanting to lock me up in an insane asylum when I change my mind yet again.
Marriage is the face you look for in a crowd, and him smiling as he sees me. Like I’m the only one in the room.
Marriage is having someone to sit next to as you cheer your kids on at every big event and all the small milestones they conquer.
Marriage is seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly, and yet they still choose to love you.
Marriage is “no, we do not need another dog.”…and he still gets you the other dog.
Marriage is waking up in the middle of the night to clean up dog puke, knowing the dog he didn’t want in the first place is important to me.
Marriage is sitting together in the church pew worshipping our Lord together.
Marriage is him “knowing” I’m crazy but not saying it outloud and just accepting it and loving me regardless! Stopping me from throwing the computer when it doesn’t work and fixing everything that I break!
Marriage is being the only one I would feel safe with if we were fighting zombies.
Marriage is when the sky is falling and the walls are closing in, but I still know I’m safe.
Marriage is no matter what the future holds, or how many days the Lord gives us, every day I get to spend with him is “The best day ever”.
Cowles Farm 