“To have and to hold…”
Part of the vows I spoke 27 years ago today.
“To have and to hold.”
When I said those words, looking into your eyes, holding your hands, they were simply wedding vows. Beautiful words spoken on the best day ever! I had no idea, back then, that your hands would be the ones I would reach for in every season of life.
June 26, 1999, when I said those words, I did not know your arms would hold our babies and carry so much of the weight I did not even see, or that those same arms would become my safe place on the day I said goodbye to my Daddy, and now this week as we bury my Momma.
“To have and to hold…”
I did not know when I said “I do” that I was saying yes to a man who would love the Lord first and lead our family with quiet strength and unwavering faith.
I did not know I was saying “I do” to a husband who would be my support, my steady place, when the world was spinning.
I did not know I was saying “I do” to the father of my children, who would show our girls what it looks like to be loved well.
If I am honest, I did not fully understand the weight of those vows that day….
…But God knew.
Through every season, every “High” and every “Hard”, those words have remained…
To have you…
To hold you…
…and now here we are, 27 years later, stepping into a new season as our girls begin lives of their own.
The house will be quieter, and there will be an “unfamiliar freedom”, accompanied by a strange kind of grief, but with a peace that we did our job! I see your strength and courage in them. They are who they were raised to be!
27 years have passed, but one thing has never changed…
It is you I still reach for.
It is you I still choose.
And after all these years, I understand now what those words truly meant,
“To have and to hold…”
Forever grateful that I get to do both.
Happy 27th Babe!
Cowles Farm 